Let Go and Let God
When is your faith with Jesus tested? Is it when everything is going to plan or when your world has turned upside down? Most importantly, which one has the most potential for growth and wisdom?
It is difficult to admit the good that can come from heartaches, sweat, and tears when you're going through it. Especially so if there doesn't seem like there's an end in sight. I know. I am going through it right now.
I am in the middle of planning and saving up for a wedding however, my job is going away sooner than I thought. I am four months away from my wedding date (September 17th) and I am beyond stressed.
It has been difficult to control these thoughts of doubt, worry, and even despair. What has given me comfort is that I know that God has provided for me in the past, renewing of my mind, and the belief that all things work together for good/His glory (Romans 8:28).
Years ago I had applied to get a full-ride scholarship to the University of North Texas. This was a major undertaking as I had no other way for paying for college. My family's income was unstable so we never developed the savings to pull from. Luckily, my sister was able to get into the program. I thought that would increase my chances. I applied and went through a nerve-wracking interview process (my first ever interview and in front of 7 judges! I stutters my first words!) but afterwards I believed that I did well enough to get in.
As you might have already guessed, I didn't. I was an inconsolable mess as I wept profusely into my fiance's couch and arms. I tried looking for grants/scholarships, considered taking mountains of debt with loans and even started a GoFundMe (I only ever got $20 from that). My life seemed like it was over. My dream of higher education evaporated from clenched fists.
In the end I got a part-time job and was on a payment plan with my father to go to school. By my second or third semester, I suddenly received grant money paying for not only my current semester but the previous ones as well! Although it didn't cover for books, clothing, train fair, and necessities, I got a job that gave me the needed income to pull through. Additionally, the job gave me experience and helped me develop professional skills in the realm of the career I wanted to be in! So not only did things work out for me, they turned out better than what I could've hoped for!
Remembering this instance and many others of how God provided/brought me through dark times is comforting. If He can bring me out of one hopeless situation, He can bring me out from this too.
I also have been comforted lately by the renewing of my mind. One example of this was at church this last sunday, our Pastor encouraged us to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives through "teachable moment". In the hussle and bussle, it is easy to get hyper focused on what we want to do that we don't let God into and influence our lives! I believe that God sends us a daily message or guide to direct us. However, more often than not we believe we know better and go our own path. Sometimes God calls us to slow down and listen. Sometimes we He allows up to run out of steam before we do. Recognizing this helps me be alert for when the Holy Spirit moves so that I can follow (like how the Israelites did with the tabernacle).
Another instance that I was renewed was through my Discipleship class when we went over how God always provides us, His children, the ability to fulfill His purpose. We know this because Hebrews 13:20-21 states that,
"Now may the God of peace, who by the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, the Great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen."
Although I do not know where I am going, I know that God will a) make a way for me and b) provide me the tools to get there.
It is important to note that we not only know these things but believe and walk in them. In order to do this, we must have an intimate relationship with Christ (here is my previous blog post about it). Bible study and prayer also has helped me meditate on these truths as I continue to wait on the Lord for guidance.
I know God is working in my life, even if it is behind view. I may feel lost but God is not. I am in the season of testing but I am NOT alone. I have God and a community of loving believers to vent to/lean on. Furthermore I am blessed that this blog can be used a tool for healing not only for myself but others as well.
I KNOW who my Father is and what He is capable of. Now, it's time for me to trust God, let go, and let God do His work in me. He might be asking the same from you.
If you need someone to pray for you, leave a comment below or email me privately at email@example.com. I would love to encourage you! Also, check out this video by Mike Winger on feeling down and the ways we can combate it biblically.
God bless! ❤
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philipians 1: 6
Father God, I come before you asking for guidance not only for myself but many believers who are lost right now. The world more often than not leaves us feeling hopeless but we have hope in you! Help us to walk in your ways and in your direction, not of our own. Help us to do this out of love and righteous fear of you, not as something to check off our to-do list. I repent of believing I should do things my own way/terms. I let go and let God take reign and pray others to do as well. Your marvelous hands will create a glorious masterpiece that is far better than what we could ever come up with.
I pray these things in Jesus's name, amen. ❤